Getting around: The Indian style

India is a country with a population of over two billion and where there exists only one rule to driving: do your best on the road and leave the rest to the insurance company. If you were to compare the traffic rules of UK and India the chances of finding a difference is remote except for the fact that in India they exist only in text books. Driving in India is like playing a video game and if you can manage to reach your destination without causing any scratches on your vehicle, then you win the game. During my first week in UK I was amazed to see the cars all lined up and moving through the left side of the road(only!!). If it were in India, you drive along the left if you have space on the left, else you drive on right or wherever you find space for that matter. Scared? Already? Wait till you hear about the traffic lights. Everywhere around the world, red light signifies to stop your vehicle, green to go and orange to wait. Technically so is it in India, though it is often interpreted as green means to go, Orange means to go and Red means to go faster. If you are wondering whether the traffic police has any say in this, then think no further. They do have a say but then ultimately the drivers decide what they want to do and where they want to go and how they want to achieve this and nobody can stop them. When it comes to honking, the rules are completely different in India. While it means “move out of the way, stupid!” in most of the countries and hence its usage is considered rude and is limited. But in India it could mean a greeting, an acknowledgement, a sign of irritation, a signal of frustration or just another wake up call for the lazy cow crossing the street. And due to its diverse meanings it is used abundantly and may be this is one of the reasons why they say if you can drive in India, then driving anywhere in the world is like a country side cruise.

Here are some hints of survival for anyone visiting India and daring to drive on the roads:

1.       Always carry a stack of books in your car compartments because you are bound to encounter one or two traffic blocks on your way to the destination and which might take hours to clear up.

2.       Never think of stopping at the pedestrian crossing as neither are the people expecting you to nor are the cars speeding behind you.

3.       Do not hesitate to blow your horns whenever or wherever needed.

4.       If you see a triangular shaped vehicle with three wheels( Auto Rickshaws) carrying items that surpasses its weight or school children arranged inside without leaving even tiny bit of space, do not bother to question. They have their own road rules and are licensed to irritate.

5.       Do not overlook the mopeds that run on a teaspoon of petrol. They are slow but they have the most courageous drivers who might rather choose to go under the heavy vehicles to overtake them rather than going around them.

6.        The traffic in India is incomplete without mentioning the heavy trucks. The drivers often consider themselves to be Indian James Bond with the license to kill. At night if you happen to see a single light at above 6 feet from above the ground, it should not be mistaken to be a flying bike. It is one of our trucks with a broken light and a drunk driver.

Having learnt these rules if you think you are qualified to drive in India, then wait till you hear about the head lights. All the vehicles do have headlights(broken or not) and as per the rules they have to be on after 6pm. This simple rule can be read and followed in three different ways: always keep the lights off, to save the battery or always keep them on so that everyone sees you coming or switch them on at high beam suddenly at the vehicle coming opposite and blind them.

Having said all this let me this article on a happy note. Isn’t it surprising that accident rates and related traffic deaths are very low in India when compared to the US and many other European nations?