CROSS ROAD

A whole lot of memories rush into my mind as I sit relaxed on my arm chair at this age of 70. it’s a fine evening. I can feel the cool evening breeze brushing past me. I feel contented and happy. When I take a look at my past life I get a feeling of satisfaction of having led a successful one. I have had many ups and downs, sweet and bitter memories and experiences. But I still remember clearly a time when I had stood perplexed and confused not knowing what to do, whom to ask for an advice and what decision to make. It was like standing in front of a crossroad not knowing which way to turn to as I had the least idea where these may lead me to…

It happened many many years back. It was one of those cold winter mornings. I was lying in bed in the company cottage. From my young age itself computers had been a craze for me and so I had passed my software engineering with flying colors. But finding a job was not as easy as I had imagined. Nothing seemed to satisfy me nor the thrill I was looking forward to. I kept changing posts, shifting companies and was never stable at any place. It was then that I received the card telling me that I was selected as a trainee to one of india’s top companies in Bangalore. Of course, it was a big achievement for a boy in his mid twenties to be selected for such a good post. I felt very happy and light inside. Everything around me seemed full of life. Life suddenly felt very beautiful. Every single leaf of the tree, every morning dew on flowers seemed happy. Within one week I left for the garden city.

I was cock-sure about my success during the training period. So with my heart filled with hopes I went to meet the manager. It was then that I came to know that there was one more person competing for the same job. My heart sank when I heard this. I suddenly felt fear curbing me. So, after all things were not going to be easy. I went to the company cottage with a disturbed mind.

Now, almost an entire month was over and my opponent had not yet arrived. He had almost missed a major part of the training period. The fear in be began ebbing out. Suddenly I heard the door bell ringing. I lazily got out of bed and opened the door. A man in mid forties. He was very plainly dressed. He had a suitcase in his hand. He introduced himself as Subramanyan from Kerala. I stood there rooted to the ground. The man in front of me was my opponent or rather, my rival. We were to stay together. Even though he showed interest in talking to me, I never bothered to even look at him. I was treating him as my enemy.

Day by day he was proving himself to be better than me. He looked so dignified in his uniform. Even qualification wise he was one step ahead of me. The competition was becoming tougher. I in all means tried to please the manager and the top management. I submitted my projects with full sincerity. I was really working hard. But as months passed I began getting used to his ways. While I played badminton in the morning he used to get himself occupied with his yoga. I got used to seeing him eating curd and rice every day, doing his pooja and writing long letters home. I liked his way of taking things lightly and his sense of humour. But the thing that I liked most was his beautiful innocent smile coming from the depth of his heart.

Now, there was only one more month left for the training course to get over. The job was almost sure for me as Subramanyan had failed to attend the first one month. I was happy and proud of myself. I was looking forward to the end of the month. One evening as usual subramanyan and me went out for our evening walk. The sky was light red and cool breeze was blowing. My friend was lost in some thoughts I was feeling uneasy and disturbed for no reason at all. After a long period of complete silence he began to speak” why didn’t you ask me about my absence during the first one month?”. I remained silent. I looked at his face. He was looking down. I could feel his heart was throbbing to tell me something. He continued speaking. “ my father had passed away. Being a Brahmin boy, I had to do all the rituals and that occupied me for a whole month. My father had died drowning me in debts. Within two months the bank will take over my house. I really don’t know where I will take my wife and children to. You must be wondering why I am boring you with all my troubles”.

Actually I was. I was feeling pity and sorry for him. But I still didn’t understand why he was telling me this now. We usually never talked about our families and so I knew nothing about him. “if I get this job all my financial problems will come to an end. Now I am really in need of some money. I will never come across a good opportunity like this again. But then… ” his voiced trailed of. Now I clearly understood what he meant. He was looking at me. There was hope in his eyes. But my heart was aching inside me. “please…I know I shouldn’t be asking you this. But please think of the situation I am in. I have no other go. I have a whole family to feed and support. I am nearly begging you..”

That night we had a very silent dinner and that I couldn’t get a wink of sleep. I kept thinking about what he told me. He had really put me in front of a cross road. Subramanyan was badly in need of a job. He needed it more than me. Almost half of his life has been wasted in poverty and tears. This job would gift him a new life. Even ability wise I knew he was better than me. I knew he would do the job sincerely and would lift the company to heights. But still…what about my dreams, my hard work, my pain, my future. i had looked forward to this job so much.why should I sacrifice my dreams for a stranger. And after all who knows if he is saying the truth or not. But what if he was? Then my heart will be filled with guilt and his curse would haunt me for ever. I didn’t even know anyone in this place to ask for an advice.

It was the last day of my training period. That morning I got up early and left for the company. I placed my resignation letter on the manager’s desk. I knew my dreams were all shattered and hopes in vain. I never saw or heard of Subramanyan after that. Luck favoured me and I got a new job. Though not as good as the previous one, I was happy and content. I was so successful in every phase of my life. I never had to regret or look back. May be it was for my own good that I took that decision that day or be it is because I believe there is one innocent man constantly praying for me every day..

[THIS IS JUST A STORY]